7.22.2014

Natural Parenting: A One Way Trip to Gangster-Ville


Hi. My name is Nikki, and I'm a thug.


I've decided that you have to be a hardcore thuggish gangster if you're going to be about that natural parenting life. Seriously, either you're going to have a "by any means necessary" attitude when it comes to your parenting choices, or you just won't follow through. It's easier to just pop open a jar of baby food instead of going through the process of making your own. Making baby food takes forethought and planning. Who has time for that?! Who has time for that when you're bouncing a baby on one hip and trying to fold 5 loads worth of laundry? Who even has the mind for that when you haven't had more than a few hours of sleep a day for the past 8 months and you can barely hold a thought in your head or string together a coherent sentence?  It's just easier to throw a disposable diaper on that baby than it is to do your cloth diaper research, find a system that will work for you, and get the ball rolling. It's just easier to park your kids in front of the television, especially when you're in desperate need of a moment to yourself to sit and drink some tea, or reply to an email, or try to wash a sink overflowing with dishes, or pay a bill, or actually have a meal today, or just go pee.

As you may gleaned from the above paragraph, parenting is difficult. I'll venture to say that it could be one of the hardest things I've ever done, and I'm a tough chick. Technology and modern conveniences offer to take some of the edge off and when you're deep in the trenches of 3 am feedings and toddler tantrums, sometimes those "cheats" can look really appealing. But, like I said, if you want to employ natural parenting methods, you have to be really stubborn.

The general public is going to look at you like you're a martian. Most people will not for their own life be able to fathom why you don't want to slather baby oil all over your kid and can't wrap their minds around baby led weaning. In fact, they may be confused as to why you want to use your breasts to feed your baby in the first place. You'll probably be labeled a kook pretty early on.

Everyone has advice for you. Every store has a device for you. There's a book for you to read, an article for you to peruse, a method for you to work into your parenting itinerary -- it's endless. If you entertain every thought and "helpful hint", try to appease your mother in law and been there done that big sister, you'll be worn out before your 6 week postpartum appointment. If you don't lean into your instincts, you'll look up one day and realize that you didn't raise your children the way that you wanted to and you weren't the parent that you wanted to be. If anyone wants to sass you about your well thought out, thoroughly researched, beneficial parenting methods, refer to the picture at the top. You see that face I'm making? Look at them just like that.

Daring to be a parent, whether it's adopted, step, or biological, takes more bravery than you ever knew you had. Natural parenting often times requires a straight up defiant attitude, in the face of modern society with all of it's bigger, better frills, huge corporations and the media, and family and neighbors who will question every single choice you make. Don't worry about it. Take the energy that you would have spent caring what others think and use it to go puree some veggies for your baby. The both of you will be fine.

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